Insecurity, and How I Relate to Others
I am concerned with what other people think about me. I often dedicate mental energy preoccupied with the way I present myself, but in reality, there is a much different underlying issue. The concern is not what others think, rather it relates to what I think of myself. My anxiety of others’ opinions is just an indicator that I do not always view myself in the best light.
This makes me simultaneously intimidated and optimistic. I am my harshest critic, and I do not forgive myself any misstep. I constantly judge my actions, appearance, and interactions. Was that good enough? Am I good enough? This thought process has plagued me for years. It has led to detrimental behavior. Sometimes I do not believe in myself. This self-doubt causes me to be unduly concerned with what people around me think. My validation is not deemed enough, and I feel I must rely on the opinions of others.
Though this can be frustrating, a solution lies within reach. I can adjust my thoughts to improve the situation. The problem is not with other people, and that is a relief. I do not have any control over other people. If I can adjust my thought process, and work to accept myself, then I will not be so concerned with what other people think. If I can be confident in my own abilities, and my own value, then I will not be obsessed with external validation.
The responsibility this realization transfers to me provides great freedom. It do not have to be beholden to fickle opinions. If my perceived value lies with me, internally, then I have power. If I can cultivate unwavering belief in my merit and worth then I am not held hostage by what I believe others are thinking. I can regain power by building myself up and distancing myself from the beliefs that I have about what other people think.